Pain | Page 19 | Points in Case

Tag: Pain

Your most memorable characteristics of me were “those eyes” and “that body.” Newsflash, Rick: most women on this planet have eyes and a body.

My parents got me this as a housewarming gift but I still live with them. Does this mean they want me to move out?

Froot Loops’ Toucan Sam is about as dreamy as tropical birds get. Father McGillicuddy had a much harder time wrapping his brain around this one.

I offended my hosts yesterday when I criticized their dining options. I guess they don't recognize a paleo guru when they see one.

get red-hot, / a white meat babyface / I would always tease him / by calling him “Broccoli” / even if it made things worse.

I know you’re here because you read that Vice article that said our hedge fund is like the Wolf of Wall Street but with actual wolves. That’s true.

Peek-a-boo. Peek-a-boo. What sorcery is this? Only a demon could so affect the utter destruction and recreation of his countenance at will.

5. You Are Not Watching Gremlins Right Now, Because You Are Too Busy Reenacting Scenes from the Film with Buckley, Your Friend & Butler

You can take the man out of the big city and send him to Hell for a life of transgressions, but you can’t take the big city out of the man.

I’d be willing to bet it takes dozens of muscles in the arms, legs, and torso to lift this soda machine off of my shattered body.

The question is not what you look at, but what you see; and not just what you see, but what is on your Netflix “Recently Watched” list.

The producers were convinced that my boyfriend Todd was the actual killer. Have you seen Todd? My little baby cousin is stronger than him.