6 Life Lessons They Won’t Teach You in College
What you never learned is that you're a replaceable peon, your career means nothing, your marriage will fail, and nobody loves you. Don't worry though, you were a mistake to begin with.
Tag: Pain
Statistically Speaking, Most Accidents Happen in the Home… My Home
Just last Thursday I was entertaining over 50,000 guests at my bi-weekly “Salute to Bear Traps,” which was meant to be just a fun, casual, and accident-free celebration. Oops.
I Am Perineum
I am Perineum, collector of moisture and bringer of grief—assailant to love and cunning puppeteer of adolescent boys.
How to Publicly Ruin Someone’s Life
Guaranteed ways to publicly destroy the reputation of enemies ranging from your former employer or romantic partner, to a professional rival or your spouse's psycho ex.
Alien Abduction or Dentist Appointment?
Dissect this actual transcript between psychologist and patient under hypnosis and decide whether it's an alien probing or a dental cleaning.
Our Medication May Kill You, But It’s Not For Sure (Ok, It’s For Sure)
While this medication may be swallowed, it may also be used as a suppository, although after ingestion, please immediately finish your living will.
Dear X Games, Allow Me to Injure Myself for You
Here's the problem with your skateboarders: they make it look too easy. Let me attempt to skateboard and faceplant all over the place, for the ratings.
Seven Reasons to Put Your Cat in the Microwave
Think about it, why not put your cat in the microwave? Last I heard (and contrary to what our "president" seems to think), this is still a free country. Just do it.
Stent Removal: The Worst Pain Your Penis Will Ever Endure
The average male has no idea that a stent removal will be the most painful, emotionally scarring experience in their life. All the best to you and your penis, sir.
A Fleeting Pain in the Butt
When you wake up feeling like there's a wolverine in your stomach, it turns out an enema is your only friend. Beware the oil spill.
The Last Doctor Visit You’ll Ever Make After an Enema and Anal Probe
Back pains and difficulty urinating? You might just wanna tough it out...that is, unless you enjoyed your last alien anal probe.
How to Get Rid of a Pilonidal Cyst
A massive growth known as a pilonidal cyst terrorizes Sarah's coccyx region, and you may bear witness to all the intimate, grueling details as the tail grows.