Pain | Page 5 | Points in Case

Tag: Pain

Next to me is some sort of spatula that is red and green and says “Baking Spirits Bright!” It’s July, Richard. I can’t believe this is my life now.

You know I only pick my nose because I have to. My doctor says if I don’t pick my nose, I won’t be able to breathe out of it.

Thanks to their tapering form, carrots are a real bitch to peel and cut up without slicing a finger. They are an accident waiting to happen.

“Would you like some ice chips?” Chef Aut asks me. “Ice is for penguins,” I say. “And chips are for Brits.”

I didn’t have a chance to respond as that monster of a machine came back around, running over a cardboard standup of Neo from "The Matrix."

Good for your health either way. (This statement has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration or Pitchfork Media.)

She just holds bees. Sometimes the bees sting, so she has a high pain tolerance. But the beauty stuck in her eye apparently really hurts.

With each passing day, her resolve grows weaker. She begins to wonder if the girl above will once again leave her in peace.

Satan simply would not take no for an answer—which means that this year, our mall will feature Satan’s Village.

Am I OK? What do you care? You’re just thinking, “Did anyone like the bikini pic I posted at the pool before I ALMOST KILLED MY BEST FRIEND?”

"The rooms were comfortable, the food was exquisite and my husband and I had a glorious time in the pool until they released those piranhas.”

Listen, we’ve all been there. Relationships aren’t all grapes, private lyre performances, and lounging like statues in an acropolis.