Pandemic | Page 11 | Points in Case

Tag: Pandemic

In hindsight, you probably should have spent more time tilling the ground than posting seductive selfies in your gardening hat, but that's okay.

Half the time now I am awfully lazy, and scroll through my phone ever so much. John says I mustn't lose my mind reading article after article.

Early Adopters: The line you wished you’d gotten into to get the better kids than the ones you’re in lockdown with.

Jigsaw sunk into a deep depression after realizing that no one is ever in the mood "to play a game" anymore, especially over Zoom.

Some of my other ubiquitous work is "Call Your Mom" and "Single-Line, Semi-Erect Penis and Balls, With Hair Sprigs."

I haven’t thought about you, but I’m sure you’ve thought of me plenty between the scars I left on your psyche and my popular, unprofessional TikToks.

Boxer is our farm goat and he loves meeting people. Don’t be alarmed if he tries to bite the screen since he doesn’t fully grasp what a laptop is.

Cabin Fever Delight - Hot dogs sizzle over a space heater because you’ve officially lost it. Time is nothing but a construct.

You will be scrubbed down and sterilized before entering the house. It will be painful, but it is the only way to ensure a clean pre-teen.

What’s that? Did you have your hand up, Brian? You’re muted, Brian. No, you’re still muted. Never mind. We don’t have time for this.

Can We Chat?, 5 PM: Hop off the couch and back on Zoom with a terse smile pasted to your face. Don’t forget to put your shirt back on!

Liquidity: How many glasses of wine Mommy will need before she can help with fifth grade math.