Sure, My Name Is Batman, But That Doesn’t Mean I Was the Conduit for Coronavirus to Jump from Bats to Humans
Please stop graffitiing the Batmobile with hurtful slogans like “The Caped Contager” and “The Dark Blight.”
Please stop graffitiing the Batmobile with hurtful slogans like “The Caped Contager” and “The Dark Blight.”
Have a visible breakfast of two croissants, orange juice, and a glass of red wine on Zoom. Complain how you had to make the croissants by hand.
I deserve my on-campus mansion. I am enough for my on-campus mansion. No one can take my on-campus mansion from me.
Ridgemont High: All "fast times" have been canceled. Students are advised to hotbox their vans from home until the curve has been flattened.
We may not have the NBA Bubble, but we do have the NHL Geodesic Sphere. It’s an exhibit called "1999: World of Tomorrow," and it’s your new home.
Turn off all the lights except for a flickery one, and point at it and say, “Is that the North Star?” Then sleep on the kitchen floor.
How am I supposed to believe a real colonial woman is teaching me to churn butter, when her flawless colonial outfit is tainted by latex gloves?
Assume a plank pose on the mat that you ordered from Amazon, mentally petitioning Jeff Bezos to treat his employees properly.
He might be stuck inside but this fella is still capable of making dozens of women uncomfortable, from the comfort of his own home!
A guide to TV shows ranging from "Bar Rescue" to "Bar Rescue Rescue Rescue Rescue Rescue Rescue Rescue Rescue Rescue," and everything in between.
You should know that I have recently become a follower of the Dark Lord Cthulhu, whose worship I must prioritize above my data entry deliverables.
Donald Duck will wear a mask, but still no pants. / All t-shirts reading “I Survived The Tower of Terror!” have been reprinted to read “I Survived!”