Pandemic | Page 21 | Points in Case

Tag: Pandemic

Make-Believe Star of Reality Show: Seeking creative self-starter who is delusional and lonely enough to pretend they are a contestant on reality TV.

Dear Ma, It's bad out there. The Trader Joe's frozen aisle was completely decimated: no cauliflower crust pizza in sight.

Disinfect your broom, too. We recommend a homemade flying potion made of opium poppies, spotted red mushrooms, and toad skins.

At night, my bath was too hot, I got hand sanitizer in my eyes, and I had to isolate in my presidential railroad-train pajamas. I hate those pajamas!

"Sonnet 18, For My Dearest Netflix" Shall I compare thee to a blank brick wall? Thou art more lively and more intr’sting

So why is Potbelly keeping your hard-earned taxpayer money? Because you all will fucking forget the second you’re allowed outside, that’s why.

There’s no point in waking up with the sun salutation / I drift through the days of the week like a cloud pose / DoorDash warrior pose

Lay very long in bed, enthralled by newly bequeathed Ozark. The Sickness, I hear, encreases in the towne much, and exceedingly everywhere.

Stretched to cover more area by upper management / Watches boss make the same mistakes day in and day out / Owned by Jeff Bezos

That mewing and hawing you’re hearing on the upper deck isn’t the 4 PM slop feeding. It’s a protest!

It wasn’t my intention to shout “HOLY HELL MOTHER OF GOD LEAVE ME BE YOU WICKED BEAST!” as you went over our Planned vs. Actual.

"The virus's signature blend of 23 flavors is truly unique, which is why it was clearly made in a Chinese military lab." -Dr. Pepper