Impossibly Obscure TV Shows to Binge When, Oh God, You’ve Watched Literally Everything Else
The Altos (Ask Jeeves Deluxe): If Riverdale is Twin Peaks for teens, then The Altos is The Sopranos for people who barely know what television is.
Tag: Pandemic
The Unfortunate Consequences of My Writing During the Time of COVID-19
Banners will fly, in all major cities, bearing my image and a few of my most famous words. There are so many.
Shelter-in-Place Shakespeare
KING LEAR How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child. Away, away! GONERIL I literally cannot leave.
Unnecessary Places Where Trump’s Signature Will Now Appear
After “FROM:” on the name tags of all wedding gifts / Embroidered on all weighted blankets / Baked into the crust of all apple pies
How to Tell if You’re Having Coronavirus Symptoms or Simple Ketamine Withdrawal
In these trying times, it may be harder than ever to tell exactly why you feel like total shit when you wake up in the morning.
Waving Etiquette While Taking Walks During Coronavirus
The Influencer in a Louis Vuitton Surgical Grade Mask - sheepishly wave at the subject and post it on Twitter when you get home.
Alternatives to “An Abundance of Caution”
If we do nothing, the oft-employed phrase may die of exhaustion. Why not try "a conglomeration of carefulness" or "a wealth of wariness"?
Your Private Student Loan and COVID-19
We have been keeping your loan “sheltered in place” so that it grows at its 12% compounded rate.
Useful Quarantine Words in Other Languages
Ordemazão (Brazilian Portuguese) - Ordering a week's worth of pad see ew from the local Thai restaurant in order to meet their delivery minimum.
“Voluntary” Video Check-Ins with Our Newly Remote Workforce
Day 12, Check-In 74: There is simply no way for us to know just by looking at you that you haven’t brushed your teeth in days.
Chekhov Quotes, or Texts from Dad during a Global Pandemic?
There is nothing more awful, insulting, and depressing than banality. / We can’t watch Netflix if you’re already watching Netflix.
Opening Sentence Drafts for My Brand’s Coronavirus Email Blast
In these unprecedented times, / In these, let’s be real, horrifying times, / In these gay Oklahoman tiger overlord TV star times,