Johnson & Johnson Vaccine or RC Cola?
Feels like they should've spent a little more time on the formula. / Urgently being shipped to nursing homes in the South.
Tag: Pandemic
Normal Clothes, Explained
Shoes are footwear that is not sneakers, Crocs, slippers, or boots. I cannot remember why you would want them.
Capture Your Zoom Therapist’s Interest in Just Ten Easy Steps
While it’s important to develop your key players (namely, your mom and your ex-boyfriend Ethan), don’t be afraid to throw in some side characters!
Cuomo’s COVID-Safe Reopening Plan Expanded to All 2021 State-Recognized Holidays
May 5 – Cinco de Mayo: IVs previously containing live-saving antivirals and convalescent plasmas will be replaced with frozen margaritas.
A Love Letter to My Valentine, Catastrophic Thoughts, On Our First Anniversary
Or how about that day in April when I forget to wash the Cheetos bag? I fell into a fetal position, and I knew you were my soul mate.
I Know People Are Trying to Cut in the Vaccine Line, But I Really Am a Wisconsin Mink Farmer
Don't be fooled by the New York City postmark on this letter -- I'm a Wisconsin mink farmer, born and bred.
Subtle Modifications to Make When Your Work Conference Goes Virtual
During the ten-minute break between sessions, line up your children's stuffed animals in a giant single-file line leading directly to the bathroom.
Heyo! I’m Your Bumbling Husband and I’m Here to Take Out the Recycling During Your Zoom Meeting
Forgot I ate three cans of soup (Tuscan white bean, if you were wondering) last night and also decided to get rid of my old tambourine collection.
We at Edible Arrangements Are So Sorry Your Order Came Five Weeks Late
What we see here is not a rainbow cornucopia of fresh fruit, but a hornet’s nest of shriveled blackberries and fungus-ridden apricots.
A Descent into Insanity, As Told Through Covid Test Swag Stickers
Day 8: Another test, and another sticker. This one has a pile of crimson and golden autumn leaves with the “We’re in this together!” slogan.
Self-Guided Meditation for You Lonely People This New Year
Take a moment to become aware of the sounds around you. Tune out your next-door neighbors who won’t stop having elaborate sex.
It’s an Honor to Be Your Band-Aid on This Momentous Vaccination Day!
I always dreamed of big things, like covering a knife cut on Mark Bittman’s finger, or a scrape on Usain Bolt’s leg, or being forgotten in Beyonce’s purse.