Parents | Page 2 | Points in Case

Tag: Parents

Using the mantra, “Don’t be a crazy person,” Amy has presented as a competent, securely attached parent at drop-off time.

The Airport: For domestic flights, you should wake up at 4 a.m. and drive directly to the airport, no matter what time of day the flight is.

A bank teller overeager to waive overdraft fees on my debit card in an attempt to maintain our relationship.

Your mama’s so broke she doesn’t even make cents! Which is a shame because she’s worked hard for everything in this life.

Be More Interesting Than Whatever Is On Their Screens: You do have one huge advantage over their screens: a direct and genetic link to their vanity.

Your father and I are trying to plan Hanukkah. Think you’ll be able to join us in Nazareth for the last night? You also have a birthday coming up.

I think you should ask your doctor about how your lower GI issues could be alleviated with a daily regimen of Green Crack.

Registered: A brand new crib with a breathable, hypoallergenic mattress / My Baby Wanted: Our dog’s bed, full of dog hair and slobbery toys

I just don’t think I can morally justify knowingly bringing children into a world where their dad would be me.

You’re ashamed to be wearing something from Goodwill while everyone you know is wearing something gifted to them by their rich parents.

You’re young, your hormones are raging. All you want to do is figure out what the shadowy figure following you through mirrors is saying.

Looking back, I can see it was I, not yo momma, who is so dumb that I stood on a chair to raise my IQ.