Parents | Page 20 | Points in Case

Tag: Parents

Delete all the photos on your social media that indicate you ever had a life before children. Replace them with a solid wall of photos of your kids.

Minilla plods off, leaving Monster Island by himself. Godzilla chokes back his atomic ray as he remembers the first time he laid eyes on him.

Rose* (Human Resources Officer, 1999-Present): He walked into this office on his very first day with that Hot Pocket.

Self-cleaning. Enchanted with spell that bewitches child into consuming lunch regardless of fiber content. Doubles as USCG-approved flotation device.

These Mason jars today---all they do is hang around waiting for some kid to go on Pinterest and search “rustic chic wedding.”

When a role for a young guy is being offered to me, I think of River Phoenix. It feels like a loss.

I don’t need to remind you about the “Flower Pot Fiasco," the “Macaroni Art Disaster," or the “I Thought It Wasn’t Until Next Month” flop.

I know we aren’t particularly close, but we do have a ton of friends in common, which means it would be a lot of fun for me to go to your wedding.

It would really mean a lot if I could come in and see where she … ended up. Sorry, looks like I’m interrupting book club.

2. Just a few dozens more hurdles to go. After graduating college, did you decide to take on even more debt by starting a business?

My parents knew they had early mornings in the factory, just working towards the American dream, but there was something special about that night.

Oh-kaay. This hurts a little. The spring-bound polypropylene surface feels more solid upon impact than I expected.