Parents | Page 22 | Points in Case

Tag: Parents

How about a round of applause for the Starbucks barista who didn’t ask what else I like strong and hot on a summer afternoon.

It appears you believe I am actually leaving in a few days. This is not accurate. These ceiling deals are always a bit of a work in progress.

1 Month: A Cherry Lifestyle Condom: A month in high school is basically a decade in real people years, so it’s time to take things to the next level.

Creative new ideas like Swine Flu Pig Roast and Cholera Clambake, for the modern parent who distrusts the Big Pharma but loves to spread Good Karma.

There were so many things I wanted to tell you while I was twelve, and now I’m thirteen and don’t have the balls---I’m all sweaty pits and dry mouth.

Explain that "Interpretive Trail Hiking" won’t have a steady paycheck and encourage your boots to instead major in "Pre-Backpacking" at Bootiversity.

Don't ask loudly and rhetorically "See why I divorced her?" of the shoppers gaping at your unholy hissyfit over her congenital tardiness.

How would you rate the attitude of our management team? Overall did they seem motivated and alert?

Jimmy Silverman (Jimmy’s Room): Was anybody in my room the other night? I heard strange noises coming from my closet and it smelled like bad eggs.

What’s the point of locating a family to scare and waiting under a bed, if when I crawl out to scare the kid, they’re not even in there?

Dad’s old tennis sneakers: You dated him in college when he wore these sneakers and you seemed to like them just fine back then.

"Poll: Are you mad at me? Because your sister insinuated some things you might’ve told her about me…"