"Is this because you just lost your job? We’ve been through this, you’re an excellent reporter and they had no right to fire you! You won a Pulitzer!"
Honey Bunches of Oats > A Small Amount of Good Stuff Swimming in a Large Amount of Oats
I made the brownies with one hand while reading for my ChickLits book club. Sleep is a societal construct! I think I’m starting to hallucinate.
I am the genetic material of two people who cut coupons, enjoy bird watching, and decorate their home with "live, laugh, love!" signs from TJ Maxx.
Masters in Accounting: Think about how much fun you have filing your taxes every year and imagine getting to do that every day!
You sat in silence for 18 minutes after finding out your new barber was from Long Island, voted for Trump, and has amazing ideas for your stand-up.
If you cannot make it home to your reinforced "Doom Room", attempt to run toward the nearest forest or wooded area.
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare: The classic love story. It’s a famous… I want to say play? I’ve only seen the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio.
When do I get paid again? What is your payroll schedule? Do you get paid weekly, biweekly, monthly? How close are you to your next paycheck?
When my girlfriend tried to talk with my son, he kept referring to her as “replacement mommy” while jumping up and down pretending to be Peter Rabbit.
Oh, Christian Bale, nominated for playing a 60-year-old man with a potbelly who only thinks about himself. Your father could have played that role.
Which teen heartthrob is the spitting image of someone you went to high school with but you can’t place? He definitely looks like someone… but who?