I See Something in Your Past, Present, Future, or Not At All
The name starts with an A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N---yes, I see you nodded in agreement---I mean my psychic premonitions confirmed it.
Tag: Parents
Acceptable Reasons to Wake Up Your Parents in the Middle of the Night
You checked the closet and it wasn’t a monster, it was nine blue goblins. They play poker every Thursday night and they apologized for the noise.
The Newborn’s Guide to Saving Up for Retirement
You can Airbnb your crib to other infants and sleep in your playpen. Make sure to charge them for the blanket, the mobile, and the cleaning fee.
21 Clever Ways to Hide Your Budding Homosexuality While Home for the Holidays This Year
4. While out caroling with your family aggressively sing, “make the yuletide straight!” when singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas."
10 Things You Should Know Before You Go Back to Your Hometown for the Holidays
Your mom and I have been having some money issues, so we're hoping you don't mind sleeping in the basement. We've got a boarder now named Lorraine.
Upcoming Hallmark Christmas Movies for the 2018 Season
"The Christmas Countdown": A group of photogenic children frolic by a fireplace and repeatedly exclaim "It's almost Christmas!" for 87 minutes.
5 Tastefully Decorated Tiny Homes That Also Happen to Be Haunted
Drive down a country road, past a bucolic house with spectral corpses in the trees, and you’ll see this beautiful tiny home: 500 square feet of bliss.
Dear RIAA, Please Require a “Step-Parental Advisory” Sticker on All Late 90’s Nu Metal Albums
I am fairly certain my stepson is going to murder me. These albums have turned what's left of His heart as frosted as the tips of His hair.
Jackets to Buy This Winter Instead of Having a Personality
Colorblock Windbreaker: You wear this athletic fit ironically because you are actually a struggling improv performer.
We Were Young and in Love and It Was Nuclear Winter
After beating that mutant horde, do you remember how we just couldn't go any further and decided to picnic atop the fallen corpses of our enemies?
4 Leather Jackets That May Not Be Able to Fix Your Broken Relationship With Your Daughter, But Will Make You Look Cool as Hell
Marlon Brando famously wore this style of jacket in "The Wild One," but he was later jailed for being deemed “too sexy” and died in prison.
How to Peg Your Partner: A Step-by-Step Guide
After the kids are asleep and your partner has put the Kindle aside, remark on the lack of sexual activity between the two of you. Your partner yawns.