What Elementary School Was Like in Each Decade
The 1960s: Students are now allowed to bring lunches with them to school.
Tag: Parents
Jack-o’-Lantern Designs That Say “We’re Filing for Divorce”
A Jack-o'-Polyamory-Pamphlets: Nothing says, "we’re leaving each other," like joining separate sex cults.
[Title Blocked Until You Pledge To My Patreon]
Yes, I sold ad space at the end of that paragraph. Yes, I know that the end of the first paragraph is traditionally where the humorous premise goes.
Advice to My Son from Beyond the Grave
And finally, my son, I will assume that at this point you have started your own Westworld recap podcast so as not to let my legacy die with my body.
Mar-a-Lago Bath Bombs
Use the (Space) Force: Lavender, yuzu, and citrus form their own sixth military branch... mission: self-care!
Thoughts from a Town with an Abandoned Twinkie Factory
"When we put him in the ground, we dropped in every Twinkie wrapper. A shade under a million. He lived to 103. So...yes. I think they're ok for you.”
I’m Writing Today to Recommend My Student and His Viral Fail Video
Though the dance move students modeled after “Bouncy Ball Fail” resulted in concussions, students all across the district are following their lead.
A Massive Storm is Barreling Down on my Family and Conversation with Them Has Never Been Easier
This storm has brought my brother out of the bomb shelter to face his family to then grab them and bring them back into the bomb shelter.
What Your Favorite Type of Apple Says About You
Jonagold: You really want to ask your boss for a raise, but every time you think about doing it, you throw up a little in your mouth. Maybe next year.
Shakespeare’s Plays: Abridged Millennial Editions
Hamlet: Literally The Lion King without any of the lions, any of Africa, any majestic rock, or any Nathan Lane.
“Mission: Impossible Fallout” Fails to Fully Capture My Experience of Life as a White Man
I’m worried about the young white boy who watches this movie and doesn’t realize there’s pleasure in riding a helicopter that doesn’t entail gunfire.
The Lamentations of Your Forgotten Love, The Cigarette
We grew together. We have history. Does vape know that you used to slobber too much in your tween years?