NO, KYLE ENERGY DRINK DOES NOT CONTAIN TRACE AMOUNTS OF REAL KYLE
WELL GUESS THEY CAUGHT ME. GREAT JOB. BECAUSE I PUT MY BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS. OH GOD SO MANY FUCKING TEARS INTO THIS DRINK.
Tag: Satire
There’s Bitcoin in Them Thar Blockchain!
These here are magic coins that live inside yer lightning box, protected by some new-fangled doohickey called a “blockchain.”
Vacation– I Mean, WORK Trip Expense Report
$432.01 - Limbo Beach Bar. Reason: We definitely thought we’d be closing some deals by shouting “Drinks on us!” We were wrong. Bummer.
A Psalm of David, On Hold for Customer Service
O Lord, I called upon the sacred number, as it was written on the back of my card.
Rush Week for Moms: Join a Book Club!
Alpha Alpha Alpha: If you are an ambitious woman looking to give 110%—or more—to a book club, we are the place for you. We have rules.
DNR for My Old Underwear
I, Your Ratty Underwear, give my consent to die a natural death.
Five Places You Will Definitely Drive This SUV, According to the Commercials
This muddy car plus your wolf family will make for a pretty incredible #weekend-pics Slack post come Monday.
Our Fracking Site Groundbreaking Will Now Begin with a Land Acknowledgment
We’ve tried to make it easy to avoid those cumbersome demonstrations with our soundproofed wall of historic woven blankets.
I Hope This Email Finds You at the Bottom of a Well
I gotta have more treats, Benji. I’m fiendin’ for it. You getting a paper cut will not be enough.
A Note Regarding the Employee Suggestion Box and the Mothman in the Break Room
When life gives lemons, make sure to offer those to the Mothman in hopes the tart treat will placate his impulsive desires.
Why I Drove a Half-Mile Through This Empty Parking Lot to Park Five Inches from Your Hyundai Sonata
Destiny brought me to this remote fringe of blacktop to get a near-microscopic view of a kick-ass car and meet my new best friend.
Spend $10 on Cigarettes, Get $500 in Bonus Cigarettes on Us
Here at CigKings, our company philosophy is simple: we give away large sums of money out of the goodness of our hearts.