Come On Man, Just Let Us Adore Him
Dude, I cannot wait to get in there and silently appreciate the little fella. Let’s go!
Tag: Parties
We Need to Talk About Your Behavior at Our “Eyes Wide Shut” Parties
One member described you as having "the chirpy positivity of a high school debate team coach."
His Royal Highness the Prince Shipwrecks on Fire Island
The Palace suspects madness, black magic, or a bout of Royal amnesia, as His Majesty no longer seems acquainted with his Anglican upbringing.
If You’re Here to Party, Put Your Hands Up for a Quick Head Count for the Fire Marshal
There are just too many beautiful people here tonight! No, really. There are actually too many of you and roughly ten to fifteen people have to leave.
Children’s Birthday Party Themes That Live Up to Their Descriptions
"Trains! Trains! Trains!" The party starts at 2 PM, but could start as late as 2:16 due to a cup that has caught fire on the track.
I’m Pleased to Announce That This Party Has Been Canceled
Having many strangers come to my home was a poorly thought-out concept, and adding alcohol to the mix surely would have created hellfire.
SORRY I HAVE TO YELL OVER THE MUSIC IN THIS NIGHTCLUB BUT YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’RE SUCCUMBING TO ENNUI BRO
LISTEN BRO. JUST REMEMBER THAT YOU CAN ALWAYS COME TO ME WHEN YOU’RE FEELING THIS WAY BRO.
New Cat Owner or My Groovy Dad at a Disco Club in the ’70s?
"Jeepers creepers! They're going to scratch the place up!"
The Wedding Ceremonies of Someone Who’s Been Married 4 Times Already
Here they come—the very few remaining loved ones that will still attend this charade. There’s Grandpa Ernie, wearing his pajamas.
I Am the Employer-Sponsored Workplace Pizza Party Intended to Make You Forget You Work for a Non-Living Wage and I Owe You an Apology
I am partially responsible for the continued shrinking of the middle class and growing wage gap among workers. I am sick about it.
I’m Quitting—This Bowling Alley Is Going to Have to Find a New CGI Skeleton to Go On-Screen After a Strike
I became a bowling alley screen animation because damn it, I love this sport and I love being a part of it.
Ooga’s Dinner Party Tips for the Busy Cavemaker
Don’t invite Glug if you are having his former mate Praki who dumped him for that Neanderthal with the wheel.