Parties | Page 6 | Points in Case

Tag: Parties

Don't ask loudly and rhetorically "See why I divorced her?" of the shoppers gaping at your unholy hissyfit over her congenital tardiness.

1:37 PM: Host will say that, “things should get cooking here in about 5 minutes!” This will be torture and will leave you craving a cheeseburger.

Gaze upon the glory of my cover of “Seven Nation Army.” Observe the light of my own original songs, which sound exactly like “Seven Nation Army.”

Jason was kind of pissed that I spilled his hot sauce all over myself, but that’s why I wore an apron!

I want to complement the kidnappers’ willingness to take down all of Larry’s dictation. That’s very considerate for kidnappers. He’s lucky.

Sitting at a bar alone chewing mint gum while sipping a fruity drink is the ideal thing for a confident person to do at a party.

Colonel Mustard and Professor Plum: There never was a murder, these two just needed to get away from their bridge club to whisper sweet nothings.

Nearby, a woman shits in the street. This symbolism is unclear. But I’m grateful for the diverse and unique ways that others connect with God.

I propped cushions and draped a blanket to be safe from the hospitable elements--the laughter, the bonding, the strengthening over some foolish game.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all conversations are not created equal; that some are boring as hell and a complete waste of time.

10. U: Used by moms in texts across the world. And candy hearts. And Prince. I love Prince. I would die 4 U.

I’m sorry I climbed a utility pole outside during halftime to hang a handmade flag with my team’s logo.