The Diary of a Man Without Porn
My expectations sunk so low that I have begun masturbating to family photos. I realized that my older cousin is extremely hot, if you squint.
Tag: Peter Pan Syndrome
I’m Sorry, You Have Andy Dick Cancer
Andy Dick Cancer will never go away. You can try to live with it, or around it, but in the end, Andy Dick will always be in your life.
The Five Most Ridiculous Sunglasses in Hip-Hop
What was once an innocent tool to protect your eyes from UV rays has been transformed into the most grotesque fashion statement in history.
Hey Michael Bay, It’s Your Conscience
Thought I'd pop by and give you the update on this new Transformers movie. You know, before you show it to the kids. They are the future, after all.
Axe Shampoo Girls Sued
On August 3rd, 2009, the Axe Hair Crisis Relief girls will be put on trial for crimes against the male gender, including excessive head-scrubbing.
Taco Bell Has Perfected the Pink Taco
Thank you, Taco Bell, for helping us overcome our fear of pink tacos by making them look so delicious. When men bite into a pink taco, they don't want fish.