Phones | Page 10 | Points in Case

Tag: Phones

I never look to see if the bus or train is coming. I never push the button more than once on elevators or at crosswalks.

9:07 PM: You wonder if you were actually the one who made the comment about the band name and have been replaced by an Adam Levine. You’re not sure.

I’ll be honest, we’re not going to give you back your shoes.

“My heart hasn’t really been into scaring him lately, he’s such a good kid, and I was getting pretty bored down there. So I bought the phone."

Honestly, rediscovering Instagram after dying and reanimating as the insatiable undead has really put me in touch with my humanity again.

My advice is to ask her about her Fitbit as soon as possible, and then to make it a daily routine to inquire about her step count.

Find a project, be passionate about it, let it consume you until you have no time or energy for sex with your wife.

You picture it. You see the wisdom. Unlike Drake, you do not accept God's plan. "I'm too good for that," you say. "Are you fucking kiddi–" God says.

I sent another text last night. I get that 3 AM is late, but that’s why I made all of you set your text tones to the sound of your children crying!

10.15 am - Somone tries to get into the office but gets lost in the revolving doors.

This mug featured nine cats smiling at me and each other with the encouraging words, “You’re very special,” written in delicate script above them.

SMÉAGOL: At least give me a chance. I mean, have you even listened to my podcast? My Preciouses?