If You Do This While Driving a Convertible, Things Will Definitely End Badly
Despite being on a winding mountain road, and wearing noise-cancelling headphones, rise over the wheel, lift your legs, and perform a handstand.
Tag: Phones
A Few Thoughts About That Video You Recorded After My Root Canal
I will be sure to keep you updated on all the social metrics. I still care about you, and the kids (our kids), and our social media numbers.
How I Imagine It Is to Be Rich
You always sort from "Most to Least" expensive when online shopping. When your heat goes out, you cuddle with your butler for warmth.
Movie-Line Outtakes
"Favorite sled." -- Charles Foster Kane, Citizen Kane
The Complete “Skeleton” Film Franchise
Skeleton: Awakening (Note on the musical score) “I don’t think the nipples would change the xylophone tone in that way.”
So You Wanted to Leave a Voicemail for Someone But They Picked Up the Phone
Drop your phone in the toilet: This makes you look cool, because every Millennial’s done it at least once in their aimless, self-serving lives.
Employment Opportunity
We also don't have a retirement plan because the majority of our employees only stay with us for 2-3 hours.
iOS 12 Will Help Fight Phone Addiction by Having Your High School Bully Threaten to Kick Your Ass if You So Much as Look at Your Phone
Swirlies, wet-willies, the thing where you step on the back of someone’s shoe and it comes off, ‘flat-tiring...’ It’ll all be in iOS 12.
The Many Alarm Clocks Unemployed People Wake Up To
10:00 A.M: A phone call! Could it be an inteview? No, just those Mormon missionaries you gave your number to during that “Who am I” phase in college.
Synopsis of “Like An Image: The Group Text Musical”
Andrew has a new response for everything (“Lmaoooooo Yes”). Ralph comes to back to the group text (“Sup It’s Been Awhile”).
A Voicemail Greeting from a Person Who Hates Voicemails
It takes less than five seconds to read the average text message, while it takes more than 13 hours to listen to the average voicemail.
The Many Phones of Michael Cohen
7. Michael Cohen calls his tailors with this phone. When ordering suits he tends to use the phrase “make someone notice me, please.”