Phones | Page 7 | Points in Case

Tag: Phones

You should know that the only reason I’m smiling right now is because that’s all you’ve taught me to do.

See, you’re a normal person that does normal-person things. Not me though. I’ve always been more of a figure--a figure that does public things.

Stoned college kids convincing themselves it’s really everyone else who is stoned / A yawn that never ends / Vomit splashing into a toilet

The small remote controls the volume and the tall remote controls the channels. We think that one is under the sink.

We are so blessed to be surrounded by so many awesome brand managers, heads of corporate sponsorships, and marketing coordinators.

Celebrity Talking Over Celebrity: For those of you wondering, what’s that actor from that movie doing these days? Well… it’s this!

Believers, tonight I bring you good news of unlimited talk and text to the Creator of the universe, powered by America’s best 5G network.

Since you just ate at Taco Bell, you might be interested in knowing you are 8 minutes from home, which is where your toilet is. Traffic is clear.

I need you to delete my personal Spotify account. As you browse the artists and titles in my library you will see why I need this to happen.

"You are tearing our family apart." / "Your dog just threw up on my new shoes." / "Can you pick me up a pregnancy test when you’re out?"

“I don’t want to come off as needy so I’ve been sitting on this text for precisely 72 hours since our last hang.”

Redoing my will tomorrow. I may need your social security number. Don’t text it! / I just watched Get Out. Excellent.