Editors’ Picks | Page 16

Tag: Editors’ Picks

We want to extend our deepest gratitude to you for believing in our potato chips. Those other people who didn’t buy our chips can go right to hell.

Marie__LocalHairgirl9: A huge part of my childhood. I skinny dipped in the reactor pool as a teen and since then I’ve had a 60 foot vertical leap.

Do not stay on the toilet for extended periods. By minute three or four you’re risking a nasty bite.

Like our CEO wrote in his “Daily Wake-Up” email, all of our cubicles can be temples of productivity.

I think about the cold draft that likely billows through her hallways at night as I sit in this suffocating summer heat.

If there was ever a year for you to slip through and get this relatively prestigious residency, it would have been this one.

While on the outside I look like I spent a past life as a lava lamp, my insides are as square as an actuary’s lunch box.

"What gives? Let's get fro-yo and drop a piano on him Looney Tunes-style."

I understand that this neighborhood has changed in recent years, and to some, my frontage looks “ironically shambolic” or “intentionally distressed.”

People I trusted to think through issues started quoting slogans I didn’t understand. “The dead are better off remaining dead,” they would say.

“Everything must come to an end.” Did I just tell you I’m dying, or that I finished The Legend of Zelda?

Millennials and Gen Z don’t understand how valuable a sense of camaraderie is, or how important mistress time is.