Coping with Your Acquaintance’s Divorce
If your therapist asks you whether Jason is your father, calmly explain that he’s your college friend’s old roommate.
Tag: Editors’ Picks
Dueling Tips from a Veteran Duelist
Judicial combat is a seminal moment and, with a record of 22-0 (humans) and 1-1 (trumpeter swan, with rematch), you’ve come to the right person for advice!
We Will Be Filming on Your Street Tomorrow for a Show That You and All Your Friends Will Really Hate!
The main characters will be named Tad, Morglee, Suppa, and Caldwater. They are all incredibly hot but still unpleasant to look at.
Help, It’s Your King! I’m Trapped and Will Surely Burn Alive Unless You Download This Mobile Game and Match Blocks by Similar Color and Shape!
I said similar color blocks. No, SIMILAR color! What the hell, are you stupid or something?
Dear Applicant, My God What Have We Done?
We regret to inform you we won't be able to offer you a position at this time. We'll always wonder what could have been.
The Restaurant Website That Makes It Impossible to Find Its Menu
Our menu? Menu…. Oh, the "menu"! Yes, sorry, didn’t follow what you meant at first. We can’t remember the last time someone actually asked for that.
8 Roles My Stepdad Can Play in My Life Now That My Mom Has Finalized Their Divorce
A bank teller overeager to waive overdraft fees on my debit card in an attempt to maintain our relationship.
For the Last Time, I’m Selling My “For Sale” Sign, Not My House
I do take issue with whoever claimed the domain liveauctionfor115belleview.net and started an all-out bidding war for my family’s home.
I Refuse to Consider Myself a Choking Victim
If you pat me on the back, I’d prefer to feel like it’s because I earned it.
The Room Where Everyone Talks About You Behind Your Back
Every Tuesday during that weird evening time slot where nobody you call picks up we’ve been coming here to air out our grievances away from you.
The Viral Essay Making the Case for Marrying a First Grader (When You’re in Kindergarten)
When I was four, I knew I was in my prime. Solidly potty trained, only three teeth missing, able to draw both unicorns and school buses.
No Fair! Kevin Had His Growth Spurt and Now He’s 45 Feet Tall
Kevin’s voice sounds like Dad’s. Except it cracks walls and sets off car alarms, and also he accidentally stepped on a school bus.