An Asteroid Threatens the Federation and We Must Take Action—But Only after Tonight’s Gala
We do not want to mar the beauty, purity, and good vibes of the Federation Gala with the ugliness of politics.
Tag: Politics
I’m Not an Out-Of-Touch Billionaire Politician, I Interact with Young People Every Day When I Feast on Their Souls for Energy
I literally feel their struggles, taste their fears, and nibble their dreams as the virile light in their eyes becomes my own.
I’m Using My Nephew’s Onesies to Propagate My Political Agenda
I send Joey down the slide delivering truth bombs like: GRAMMY SPOILS ME---AT LEAST SHE WOULD IF CONGRESS WASN’T PILFERING HER SOCIAL SECURITY.
Simon Says for Future Men in Power
Simon says tell your neighbor you never touched her butt, and she must be imagining things. This is "gaslighting" and will come in handy someday.
Championship Racehorse or Joe Bidenism?
Some of these are horses that made the turns and came out on top. Some are turns of phrase associated with a horse still in the running.
Yet Another Democratic Debate Drinking Game
If Andrew Yang offers to give away more money at random, go ahead and make a pitcher of margaritas.
Amy Vanderbilt’s Dos and Don’ts of Impeachment Etiquette
Dear Stable Genius, do reach out to this Nancy. A handwritten note of apology on stationery is a lovely gesture that will surely smooth things over.
If Your 2020 Campaign Ad Culminates in a Swell of Patriotic Music, I Will Vote for You
That’s it. No need to risk making promises you can’t keep or guarantee sweeping policy reform that is realistically unattainable in the short term.
New Words for Complex Emotions in the Age of Trump
Quitticisim (kwit-??siz?m): The paralyzing decision to either delete or refresh Twitter every thirty seconds.
An Excerpt “From the Campaign Trail or Thereabouts”
Standing on his tiptoes, he craned over their hunched heads, hoping to get a glimpse of the candidates.
FDA-Approved Vape Flavors (For Adults Only!)
These FDA-Approved Fusion Flavors™? are guaranteed to provide a satisfying Juul experience that appeals exclusively to people over 40.
Wartime Activities for Founding Fathers, or Ideal Back from Summer Break Activities for GOP Congressmen?
Admire rich white men who are landowners. / Cook porridge and flummery. / Exhort a vagabond to repentance.