6 Trendy Summer Bags for the Nuclear Football
The New American Waistland Fanny: For successful Dads who love America, spend a lot of time in Florida, but don’t have an ironic bone in their body.
Tag: Politics
Louisiana’s SHOCKING Weight Loss Secret? Climate Change!
"I essentially stuck to a low carbon monoxide, high carbon dioxide diet. It was definitely not always easy to be disciplined!"
Bernie Man: The Festival for Everyone Who Still Says Bernie Would Have Won
Some of our most popular attractions from past festivals include Soylent breweries, meme-hacking spaces, and, by state law, a Ben & Jerry's.
Slack Thread About Betsy Ross’ New Flag Design
>Were all of the stakeholders of our young nation truly involved in the process for developing this? >What if the stars were blue on a white background? >>>>Stars aren’t blue. C’mon, be real! >>>>They should be silver, then.
Hi, It’s Me, the Other Mayor Running for President
Mayor Pete is a former Navy officer, a Harvard grad, and speaks 7 foreign languages. However, as the owner of a Ford dealership on State Route 15.
Highlights of the First 10 Days of a Miraculous Marianne Williamson Presidency
President Williamson announces her first Executive Order to great fanfare, enforcing a mandatory 15 minutes of daily mindfulness for every American.
The Unique Horror of Tim Ryan
Stand there waiting, hoping, an impossible, misplaced hope, that the moderators will not think to call on him.
I Am an ICE Guard and I Sleep Very Well Through My Night Terrors, Thank You
Knowing that I did my part to separate a four-year-old from his mother with no plan or intent to reunite them, I can nod off shortly after vomiting.
Hire Me, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, As Your University’s Next Creative Writing Professor
Gimme a classroom full of second-string lacrosse players who are thirsty for validation---this mama’s fixin’ to teach creative writing!
If the Earth Really is Warming, Why is My Wife Still Leaving Me?
The eggheads at NASA say that last year was the fourth hottest on record, and yet a polar vortex of Arctic proportions has descended upon my bedroom.
Sports Quotes Informed by Political Philosophy
"That ball was on the line! And the whole question of borders comes from an outmoded hermeneutic treating the nation-state as a discreet actor."
Top Ten Floats From the Boston Straight Pride Parade
The Dropkick Murphys performing "Shipping Up to Boston" while Irish dudes do shots and maybe make out a little bit just to see what it's like.