What to Expect With Your First 18-Year-Old War
Your war gets into Yale, just like its father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. Your war is a C student, just like its father.
Tag: Politics
The State Nicknames Convention
D.C.:Nevada, do you know what you’re going to go with? NV: The Silver State! D.C.: California? CA: Ahem: The Golden State. NV: Aw, dick move, man.
Lin Manuel Miranda Said He’d Kill My Family If I Didn’t Inspire You This Morning
“Love is love is love Fun is fun is fun Wake up, stretch like a cat” Oh god. He’s taking out a knife.
Mitt Romney: The President of the United States Has the Responsibility to At Least Pretend to Be a Good Person
Unlike Trump ushering children into his internment camps, Roosevelt likely said "please" and "thank you" before locking people up because of race.
Writing a Public Apology? Clappy is Here to Help!
Let me just grab an eraser for a quick correction: “pariah” is not how you spell “accountable.”
21 Clever Ways to Hide Your Budding Homosexuality While Home for the Holidays This Year
4. While out caroling with your family aggressively sing, “make the yuletide straight!” when singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas."
Donald Trump’s Criterion Top 10
"The Royal Tenenbaums" is a movie about people who have so much money but also no money, which I promise you, folks, I promise you that's possible.
Cap’n Crunch and Tony the Tiger Are Still Fighting About the National Anthem Kneelings and It’s Ruining My Mornings
“You see what you did?” Cap’n Crunch said, frowning at Tony, “You just had to roar. Whatever happened to civility in this country?”
The Trump Administration’s Official Recommendations for Hanukkah Parties
“Sufganiyot” might be a traditional treat, but it’s hard to pronounce, and makes you seem like you’re plotting an overthrow of American jelly donuts.
Drinking Games for American Politics in 2018
Sip a Mai Tai every time you fantasize about escaping to a beach somewhere where the alt-right will never find you.
Night at the Museum: Constitutional Crisis
Twenty-first Amendment (Abolition of Prohibition) This former frat-bro is a highly functioning alcoholic. Currently a member of the federal judiciary.
The UK’s Secret Plans for a No-Deal Brexit
If the pound plummets to junk status, Great Britain will return to the barter system. Price will be decided according to value in livestock.