21 Clever Ways to Hide Your Budding Homosexuality While Home for the Holidays This Year
4. While out caroling with your family aggressively sing, “make the yuletide straight!” when singing "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas."
Tag: Politics
Donald Trump’s Criterion Top 10
"The Royal Tenenbaums" is a movie about people who have so much money but also no money, which I promise you, folks, I promise you that's possible.
Cap’n Crunch and Tony the Tiger Are Still Fighting About the National Anthem Kneelings and It’s Ruining My Mornings
“You see what you did?” Cap’n Crunch said, frowning at Tony, “You just had to roar. Whatever happened to civility in this country?”
The Trump Administration’s Official Recommendations for Hanukkah Parties
“Sufganiyot” might be a traditional treat, but it’s hard to pronounce, and makes you seem like you’re plotting an overthrow of American jelly donuts.
Drinking Games for American Politics in 2018
Sip a Mai Tai every time you fantasize about escaping to a beach somewhere where the alt-right will never find you.
Night at the Museum: Constitutional Crisis
Twenty-first Amendment (Abolition of Prohibition) This former frat-bro is a highly functioning alcoholic. Currently a member of the federal judiciary.
The UK’s Secret Plans for a No-Deal Brexit
If the pound plummets to junk status, Great Britain will return to the barter system. Price will be decided according to value in livestock.
The Orb in the Woods Kids
The orb seemed pretty observant, too, so no doubt everyone’s unique powers would shed new light on their natural strengths and underlying weaknesses.
Natural Killers: A Message from an Environmentally-Conscious NRA Member
The only drawback I can see here is that aluminum crumples up, so you’re going to want to make sure you don’t accidentally sit on your aluminum gun.
ICE-breakers: Fun Games for Agents and Immigrant Children
Someone might say, “Never have I ever abandoned families at a bus station right before a hurricane!” and you would drink since you've done that.
Now That the House is Democratic, I’m Turning My Life Around
I will not be completely terrified every time I see a white man wearing a red hat. All my lunches will be Soylent.
How the Hell Did the Hot Guy Lose?
The people of Texas have disappointed millions of people who wanted their fates sealed by a hot guy for once.