The Haters and Losers Forget I Defeated ISIS in 30 Days
Haters and losers, folks, haters and losers. So many stupid people, ignoring the facts. Don't even remember I got rid of ISIS in my first 30 days.
Tag: Politics
Trump Explains His MySpace Top 8
I was going to make Jared Kushner my 7th top friend, but then I remembered that having family members in your top 8 is LAME.
If You Just Sat Still and Tried Bipartisanship, You Might Like the Taste
Sit at the table, young man. You can't have your funding for the border wall until you finish this fiscal deal. Plus, I added some salt.
WANTED: Small-Town Vigilante for Part-Time Freelance Opportunity
Are you the reckless, arrogant threat to public safety we're looking for? If so, the Sheriff's Office of Addison County, Vermont wants to hear from you!
I’m the Only Thing Standing Between You and That Freak Mike Pence
Mike Pence, best vice president, maybe ever. Problem though: he's a nutcase. Totally unhinged. And I'm the only one preventing that freak from taking power.
Donald Trump’s Google Search History
Go citizen voyeur incognito mode on our president's Google search history. Inhale, breathe, ponder deeply, wonder, pass out.
I Forced Jeff Sessions to Eat from a Trough, and Now He Thinks White People are Superior to Dogs
I recently forced Attorney General Jeff Sessions to eat from the same trough we use to feed our many dogs, and now he believes that white people are superior to their canine companions.
5 Things Trump Can Do to Be a Better President While I Wait for Season 6 of House of Cards
Five things I wholeheartedly believe will save Trump's presidency and definitely not destroy his reputation any further, based on my House of Cards knowledge.
A Small Revolution Leader’s Guide to Growing a Revolution from Home
Homegrown Revolution is the only how-to guide for small revolution leaders like you looking to grow their revolution from the comfort of their living room.
Will These Politically Correct Millennials Stop Pointing Out My Character Flaws?
When I was younger, me and my other white male friends could have serious and rational discussions about things without being so easily offended.
The End of the World Will Get Such Great Ratings
Ratings only gonna get better, only higher with all this North Korea drama. I'm telling you, the end of the world is gonna do so well on TV.
Why are People Talking About My Son Instead of Ivanka?
My children, folks, so beautiful, so terrific. But one still stands out, the gorgeous Ivanka. So all this talk about Don Jr., all these fake news stories, who cares?