Rex Tillerson’s Honey-Do List from His Wife, Renda
It’s tough going from the head honcho to being a number 2. What do I always say? “If you don’t punch the hog in the nose he’ll make complex international decisions without you.”
Tag: Politics
We Must Investigate How SNL Has Me on the Show Every Week Even Though I’m Not in the Studio
I watch SNL and I see me in every episode, but I wasn’t on the show recently. Haven’t in a long time, I’m not in the studio. So why do I see myself on the screen week after week after week?
If Oprah and Kanye are Running for President, Then Adam Duritz, Lead Singer of the Counting Crows, Should Run Too (by Adam Duritz)
Here are just a few of the many ways that I, Adam Duritz, lead singer of the Counting Crows, am equipped to run for president of the United States.
Honey Boo Boo’s White House Intern Application
Like you, Mr. President, I'll do whatever it takes to win. Have you seen the footage of my landslide victory at the watermelon eating contest?
The Dewey Decimal System: Updated for 2017
Instagram Captions (formerly known as "Poetry"). More often than not just prose with unconventional line breaks.
White House Announces Grand Opening of Camp Trump
Do you feel out of step with the rest of the country? Are you still clinging to those liberal values of human rights and free speech? We can help!
The Only Trustworthy News Sources Are the Post-Its Steve Bannon Leaves Me
Those little yellow stickies are the only place you can trust for good news. Well I mean “good” like “real,” because sometimes the news, it isn't so good.
Kellyanne Conway Defends The Joker, Dr. Evil and Jafar on CNN
"I think that it’s important to realize that Mr. Wayne has kept a lot of secrets from the American people, secrets that Mr. Joker, frankly, feels they deserve to have answered."
An Open Letter to White Supremacists from the Dead Jewish Guy in Your Mother’s Grave
In a concerted effort to protect our own from further desecration and prejudice, we secretly replace all Gentile bodies with dead Jews. Standard procedure within the Conspiracy.
Sorry Conservatives, Just Because I Was Raised By Two Moms Doesn’t Mean I’m Messed Up—I’m Messed Up Because My Moms Were Wolves
It really irks me when someone says my two-mom, non-traditional upbringing, could have damaged me as a child. I'm damaged because my moms were wolves.
Not Such a Bad Guy: Steve Bannon Holds a Beautiful Vigil for Every Puppy He Kills
For every young gazelle killed by a lion for food, a puppy, too, must also be sacrificially exsanguinated by Steve Bannon to the Dark King of Babylon.
If I’m Anti-Semitic, Why’d I Make Jared Kushner Senior Economic and Media Adviser?
The Jews are so good, they almost remind me of myself. Always dealing. So I keep Jared right next to me. Keeping an eye on him.