Dear Overlord Pence, Of Uterus-Controlling Indiana
You signed a bill backing legislation to effectively control the uteruses (uteri?) of all Indianan women. That means all the women will go to neighboring Iowa now.
Tag: Politics
Five Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2016
In 2016, at least we'll know Donald Trump has been defeated, Star Wars will live on, and I'll live on without Panera and Starbucks every day.
Why Donald Trump’s Hair Should Have You Worried
Donald Trump can afford good-looking hair, yet he chooses to walk around looking like a joke. This isn't a sad fact, it's a well-designed political power move.
17 Signs Walmart is Seizing Government Control and Declaring Martial Law
You know something is up when the Walmart coffee is unusually fresh, and the deli features sliced human flesh of "those who dare disobey us" for $4.49/lb.
Why Politicians Will Never Get Any Better
Politicians don’t seem like real people, but the terrifying thing is, they are. They’re not the best we’ve got, but they’re the best we’re ever going to get.
Politically Correct Satire for Dummies
In the wake of recent attacks on freedom of speech, we should all take a moment to review what is clearly not acceptable to joke about, no matter how damned funny it is.
The Only New Year’s Resolution That Will Also Save Democracy
Did you know that if you juggle you can receive a significant tax write-off? Juggling is not just a way to hat trick 2015. It is a way to get our nation back on track this year.
US Government Survey: Why Did You Vote?
Please check the appropriate box below, so that we, The United States Government, know why you chose to vote in the most recent election last Tuesday.
6 Historical Bans That Would Be Ridiculed Today
History has its share of weird bans that simply wouldn't have many supporters today, including bans on chess, coffee, tattoos, and Christmas.
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s Dating Tips for Men
You young guys have a lot to learn about women. But you're in luck. Rob Ford is here to tell you how to relate, dominate, and perpetrate when it comes to chicks.
How to Convince People to Join Your Political Party, Through Home Decoration
How to decorate your home to convince everyone at your next (dinner) party to subscribe to the beliefs of whichever political party you choose.
An Open Letter to the President Concerning Welfare Reforms
I don't need your commie food charity, Brocko. What am I supposed to do with all this food? I can't pawn the steaks, I already tried that.