How to Be a Liberal, Without Being Dumb: A Manifesto
I say we try our hardest to convince both polarities of the political landscape to actually have some sense. And the one issue we can all agree makes the most difference is education.
Tag: Politics
An Open Letter to the Mayor (Concerning the Alien Invasion)
My name is Copernicus Thunderbird and I'm writing this letter because you are in grave danger. The legions of the Super Astronaut Deathlord are on their way to kill you and rape your wife.
Grizzly Murder: Sarah Palin Killed My Dog
Sarah Palin murdered a 9-year-old girl in Arizona the other day. It'’s true. I read it on CNN. Her death is a tragedy and Grizzly Mama is very clearly evil.
A Modest Wall Street Proposal
How can the markets recover with its hands tied behind its back? The only solution anyone with common sense could come to is to deregulate Wall Street. COMPLETELY.
5 Ways to Tell If Your Dog is a Communist
We all love our dogs. But there is a very real and frightening issue of the growing communist threat. Here are five ways to tell if your dog is a Pinko.
I Pledge Allegiance, To the NRA
A tough look at what inspires such a blind allegiance to the NRA, a group that should really be better at seeing straight.
Top Ten Reasons to Panic About Putin
I'm going to admit this at my own risk: I am highly disturbed by Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin's bizarre acts of trying to prove his manliness.
5 Reasons Not to Vote for President
Still wondering whether it’s worth making the trek down to the polling precinct where the line will be wrapped around town? Here's how to know.
An Open Letter to That One Congress Dude
<p>Dear My Congressman:</p><p>Hello, Mr. (or maybe Mrs.) Congressman. My name is Nathan. And I live in your district. I'm sorry I don't know you by name but the thing is, just looking at you people gives me the willies something fierce so I never bothered to look you up. Y'all are like personal injury lawyers but with less scruples and no souls. Except for Ron Paul.</p>
An Open Letter to Our Forefathers
<p>Dear industrialists who helped build this great nation:<br /><br />It was 91 degrees for the sixth day in a row in NYC today. I step outside of my comfortable air conditioning and feel like I’m being punched in the face by a heat fist. The humidity is literally killing people -- and really annoying me. <br />
Social Insecurity: Your Ugly Future
The government has a special site setup to explain Social Security to kids using fables. Mike has a special column to say, 'Fuck you.'
Oh No You Di’int
At the rate the world is generating spin, we will soon travel in time to that perfect future in which nobody is not telling untruths.