Nostradamus Got 2020 All Wrong
While people escape outdoors / There will be shortage the like of which was never seen / As masses storm stores / For parchment used to keep clean
Tag: Politics
I’m the Establishment Liberal Genie, Here to Grant You Three (Politically Pragmatic and Fiscally Reasonable) Wishes
I'll grant any wish, especially those desires that poll well with white suburban women and Rust Belt workers without college degrees.
Governor, I’m Sick of All These Double Standards
Protests are okay but I can't go to the Olive Garden because I use the breadsticks for things that are "objectionable" and "extremely upsetting?"
How to Pronounce the Names of White Male Politicians
Mike [ mahyk ] Pronounced: “my khh” Rhymes with: “yikes!” Common mispronunciations: Matt, Mark How to remember: Mike is short for “open mic night.”
Just to Play Devil’s Advocate, What if We Didn’t Defund the Police?
Listen, I know these struggles are just theoretical for me—but that’s why they’re so easy to argue against!
Dogwin’s Law of Internet Discussion
As an online discussion grows longer, eventually someone will reference Clifford the Big Red Dog, effectively ending the discussion.
2020 Election Gamer’s Guide: Boss Walkthrough
Level 1 Boss: Twitter user with American flag emoji in profile / Special Attack: Signature Retweet-and-Comment, usually in form of an OANN headline.
LEAKED: Anagrams of White House Officials’ Names Used as Secret Service Codenames
The Secret Service have used anagrams for White House codenames since Hairball Conman (Abraham Lincoln). These are the Trump administration aliases.
The Top 8 Pop Songs of the CIA’s Back Catalog
"Guantanamo," The Beach Boys (2005). This re-make of "Kokomo" failed to rebrand Guantanamo Bay as the Key Largo of military detention facilities.
Classic Children’s Books for Marxist Tykes
Goodnight Moon, Good Morning Historical Materialism – Goodnight conflict theory. Goodnight modes of production. Goodnight lumpenproletariat.
I Am a Log and I’m Running for President
As a proud deciduous piece of American timber, I now see it as my obligation to throw my hat in the ring or, more accurately, my rings in the ring.
I’m Your White Facebook Friend Who Never Left Their Hometown and I’m Here to Teach You about Conspiracy Theories
Did you know that Bill Gates actually invented racism? It’s something he put in all the vaccines. ALL OF THEM. But no, you probably don’t want to hear that.