Now’s Not the Time to Bring Up the Buzz Lightyear Toy Up My Ass, Right?
Things are changing in our country. But one thing that remains constant, however, is the Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck up my anus.
Tag: Politics
Self-Assessment: How Electable You Are for President Based on Your Religion
CHRISTIAN-CATHOLIC: Oh wow. Not a great choice. Sure, Catholics are technically Christians, but today’s voters require that you be "saved."
We Are Time-Traveling High School Students with an Urgent Plea: Stop Making History
We're only a few weeks into our "Modern World: January to December 2020" AP course and holy shit is it kicking our asses.
Antifa Job Postings, According to Republicans
Have experience with peaceful protesting but want to take it to the NEXT LEVEL? Often described as "the last person someone would suspect of being a criminal"?
Your County’s Updated Re-Opening Plan
Stage 3d: CDC advises to pick whichever conflicting news article or random blog post best matches your level of paranoia or recklessness.
No, I Didn’t Break Quarantine to Have a Sex Party
I heard one radio report suggest that there were flashing lights and loud music. My electricity is slightly faulty and caused momentary outages.
Alternative Definitions of Strong Political Terms
After being diagnosed with arthritis, Diane made a joint resolution not to attempt any more roundhouse kicks.
The New Facebook Parent Control Panel
For verification purposes, please tag a public post that was clearly intended to be an embarrassing private message to you from that parent.
Better-Than-Brexit Terms for Geopolitical Fallings-Out
Argentina = Sayonargentina / Ireland = Expireland / Israel = Wasrael / Italy = Quitaly / Portugal = Deportugal / Qatar = Qatar Loose
King Lear or the Average Boomer?
Wanders outside during period of widespread danger to shout opinions of varying coherence at imperiled bystanders.
Attn Witches: Our Midsummer Coven Has Been Rescheduled for Tuesday, Nov 3
Disinfect your broom, too. We recommend a homemade flying potion made of opium poppies, spotted red mushrooms, and toad skins.
Donald and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Pandemic
At night, my bath was too hot, I got hand sanitizer in my eyes, and I had to isolate in my presidential railroad-train pajamas. I hate those pajamas!