The Real Reason Trump Won Was Because Betsy Miller Turned Me Down in the Sixth Grade, and Don’t Let Anybody Tell You Otherwise
I've cracked the case wide open. It all traces back to the 1998 Tropical Para-Dance at Windy Meadow Middle School.
Tag: Presidents
Updated List of Bands That Have Declined to Perform at Trump’s Inauguration
Houston-based rockers Glennwood Johnson and His Exploding Knees, once described by Rolling Stone as "…a musical act," has declined due to moral concerns.
‘Twas the Night Before Inauguration
The coffers were hung by Big Business with care, in hopes that St. Donald Trump soon would be there.
I Guess I’m Going to the Inauguration By Myself Again This Year
Asking a girl to the inauguration is a rite of passage for teens, but everybody says they're going "as a group" this year, and I can't find a stupid date.
Time is Running Out for Obama to Implement Sharia Law
Constitutional scholars are already working to find loopholes so President Trump can reverse all impending evil jihadist programs.
A Transcript from the New York Times Interview with President-Elect Trump About a Photograph of a Shoe
Join The New York Times and President-elect Trump to find out once and for all if this is a photograph of a shoe.
12 Ways to Talk Your Mom Down From the Ledge When the Hottest President Ever Leaves Office
I don't know about you guys, but my mom is heartbroken over this hottie's departure. Here's how to help mothers everywhere deal.
A High School Junior Summarizes Marbury v. Madison for Her Fellow Millennials
This bat-crap crazy, totes-negative aura around the election of 1800 was what made the whole Marbury v. Madison Supreme Court shiz-nit really hit the fiz-zan.
Make America England Again
Independence was cool for a while, but we're young adults now. And what do young adults do these days? They move home to live with their parents!
BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump’s Health Records Revealed
An unaltered leak of presidential candidate Donald Trump's most recent health evaluation. The information has been transposed unaltered.
Donald Trump Rates Horror Movie Villains As He Would Rate Women
The Donald unleashes his uncompromising peculiarity upon your favorite childhood horror film villains.
PIC Poll: Who Won the Second Presidential Debate?
Points in Case polled 285 online participants immediately following tonight's townhall presidential debate in St. Louis. The results are surprising.