Diary of Nelson Perry, Swing Voter
November 1980: I voted for Ford in '76, but I’m thinking Carter can take us into the Pac Man era. Ronald Reagan isn’t qualified and he’s embraced a racist campaign strategy.
Tag: Presidents
Taylor Swift, Zachary Taylor, Jonathan Swift, or Jonathan Taylor-Thomas?
“Stop your nonsense and drink your whiskey!” / “Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.” / "We are never ever, ever, ever getting back together.”
How to Yell at Fox News Coverage of the 2020 Democratic Candidates Without Upsetting Your Republican Relatives
Ugh! Bernie Sanders’ Medicare For All plan is just TOO good! Where does this guy get off inspiring a grassroots movement toward economic equality?
Championship Racehorse or Joe Bidenism?
Some of these are horses that made the turns and came out on top. Some are turns of phrase associated with a horse still in the running.
An Oral History of Todd’s Hot Pocket Disaster of 2018
Rose* (Human Resources Officer, 1999-Present): He walked into this office on his very first day with that Hot Pocket.
Wartime Activities for Founding Fathers, or Ideal Back from Summer Break Activities for GOP Congressmen?
Admire rich white men who are landowners. / Cook porridge and flummery. / Exhort a vagabond to repentance.
Exciting Bargains from Joe Biden’s Etsy Store
"Mystery Goodie Bags": Have you ever wondered what sorts of grand and magical items find themselves behind the cushions of the Oval Office couch?
NY Times Urges Unity vs. Headlines That Gloss Over Important Context
Shooter Urges Unity vs. Gun Violence | Wall Street Urges Unity vs. Income Inequality | Toddler Urges Unity vs. Temper Tantrums
Other Things Elizabeth Warren Has a Plan For
Paying for that improv class. Paying for single-payer healthcare. Getting back together with Jeff. Convincing Jeff to come to your improv show.
Little-Known Presidential Facts
Grover Cleveland was not the first, nor last, president to wear a diaper while in office, but was the first to wear a diaper made of human flesh.
Highlights of the First 10 Days of a Miraculous Marianne Williamson Presidency
President Williamson announces her first Executive Order to great fanfare, enforcing a mandatory 15 minutes of daily mindfulness for every American.
The Unique Horror of Tim Ryan
Stand there waiting, hoping, an impossible, misplaced hope, that the moderators will not think to call on him.