Excerpts from the Harry Potter Series, Reprinted in the Trumpian Translation
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: This one’s about people from different backgrounds coming together to fight for a greater good. Skip!
Tag: Presidents
Mar-a-Lago Bath Bombs
Use the (Space) Force: Lavender, yuzu, and citrus form their own sixth military branch... mission: self-care!
What Happens When You Stop Following Trump News: A Week-by-Week Guide
Week 5: Recognizing that life is all too fragile and almost anything can be forgiven, you begin repairing the relationship with your estranged father.
My First Day at the Department for Duplicated Departments
10.15 am - Somone tries to get into the office but gets lost in the revolving doors.
I’m Mike Pence and My Entire Existence is an Improv Scene Gone Awry
The man you know as "Mike Pence" doesn’t actually exist. I'm just a guy who never got tagged out of an improv scene from 1979.
Conditions Under Which President Trump Will Agree to an Interview with the Special Counsel
The President shall enjoy full immunity while patting his head and rubbing his stomach at the same time.
Thank You for Your Support, from President of the Galaxy Elon Musk
If infractions occur, whisper “[your name] identifies [target’s name]” within one meter of any Tesla automobile, and it’ll get straightened out.
The Most Elusive and Devious Threat to the North Korean Summit is Carmen Sandiego
Trump’s plan to top the gesture is to acquire a bigger, more ornate envelope! The world’s largest! Carmen Sandiego can't resist a prize like this.
Even If We Ban Guns, Someone Would Invent a Machine With a Different Name That Does the Same Thing
The liberals, they're wrong, we can't ban guns. Even if we made guns illegal, someone would reinvent guns and just call them something else.
I’m a Die-Hard Conservative, But If You Build a Border Wall, Our Texas Town Will Be Massacred By Wolves
Everyone knows I’m a patriot, but being eaten by a pack of mega-wolves with no natural predators ain’t exactly dying for your country.
Transcript of Donald Trump’s Interview with Sean Hannity
Let's get right into the meat of it: immigration. We're going to stop saying "carne" in this country, aren't we, Mr. President?
@TwitterSupport Your Platform Won’t Allow Me to Unfollow the American President
What's going on, you guys? There's not a single French politician I can't follow or unfollow with ease. It's literally just clicking a button.