9 Perfect Holiday Gifts for the Trump Supporter in Your Life
Essential gifts for the hard-to-shop-for, not-so-subtle racists, and people who still want to talk about "the emails" in your life.
Tag: Presidents
I Am the Best Neopets Player in All of Neopia
You know Neopets? The little pets online. They're like animals, like animals in the world, but magical and on the computer. So fun, and I'm the best.
We Need Filibuster Reform, Which is a Shame Because I Love the Word “Filibuster”
So difficult to get things done with the Senate always getting in the way, but these filibusters, they make it hard. We need filibuster reform, even if it is such a fun word to say.
Other Things It is Disgusting and Absurd to Suggest This Administration Supports
In addition to not supporting slavery, I, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, would like to lay out very clearly everything else Donald Trump and this administration opposes.
As a Proud Roman Patrician, I Hereby Denounce the Gladiators Protesting Emperor Caligula
Outrageous! Gladiators have been engaging in vile political protest by quietly bending to their knees rather than showing proper tribute to our Empire and dear Emperor Caligula.
That Episode of Fox & Friends the Other Day was So Good
My favorite show, after The Apprentice of course, is Fox & Friends. I was watching an episode the other day, so good, so much about me, had to make a speech about it here.
The Haters and Losers Forget I Defeated ISIS in 30 Days
Haters and losers, folks, haters and losers. So many stupid people, ignoring the facts. Don't even remember I got rid of ISIS in my first 30 days.
Trump Explains His MySpace Top 8
I was going to make Jared Kushner my 7th top friend, but then I remembered that having family members in your top 8 is LAME.
If You Just Sat Still and Tried Bipartisanship, You Might Like the Taste
Sit at the table, young man. You can't have your funding for the border wall until you finish this fiscal deal. Plus, I added some salt.
I’m the Only Thing Standing Between You and That Freak Mike Pence
Mike Pence, best vice president, maybe ever. Problem though: he's a nutcase. Totally unhinged. And I'm the only one preventing that freak from taking power.
5 Things Trump Can Do to Be a Better President While I Wait for Season 6 of House of Cards
Five things I wholeheartedly believe will save Trump's presidency and definitely not destroy his reputation any further, based on my House of Cards knowledge.
The End of the World Will Get Such Great Ratings
Ratings only gonna get better, only higher with all this North Korea drama. I'm telling you, the end of the world is gonna do so well on TV.