The Only Trustworthy News Sources Are the Post-Its Steve Bannon Leaves Me
Those little yellow stickies are the only place you can trust for good news. Well I mean “good” like “real,” because sometimes the news, it isn't so good.
Tag: Presidents
Kellyanne Conway Defends The Joker, Dr. Evil and Jafar on CNN
"I think that it’s important to realize that Mr. Wayne has kept a lot of secrets from the American people, secrets that Mr. Joker, frankly, feels they deserve to have answered."
If I’m Anti-Semitic, Why’d I Make Jared Kushner Senior Economic and Media Adviser?
The Jews are so good, they almost remind me of myself. Always dealing. So I keep Jared right next to me. Keeping an eye on him.
5 Other Times Jill Stein Fucked It Up for Everybody Else
One look into Stein's past would have revealed some big clues to the total disaster wrought upon our country due to her very presence.
I Don’t Have Ties to Russia, Russia Has Ties to Me
How can I have ties to Russia? The best people, all the people, really, but mostly the best, have said I don’t. And they're working for me now.
PRESS RELEASE: Kellyanne Conway Clears Up the Question of the Michael Flynn/Russia Controversy
If the Mike Flynn Russia call did not take place in our Presidents sense of reality, either there is no issue as this is the only reality that now matters or it is not.
I’m Totally Against Abortion, Except in Cases of Ugly Women
We all know abortion is wrong. Bad. But sometimes the mother is so disgusting and fat from being pregnant, we really don't want that baby.
A Quick Reminder that Donald Trump’s Twitter is Amazingly Cringeworthy
Five tweets from Donald J. Trump that will satiate your internal yearning for coma-inducing cringe, or else shut down your computer.
To-Do List 2017: Apocalypse Won
Choose robot companion for president, as you inevitably prefer living in a blinged up White House adorned with gold droplets of dried Mexican tears.
Trump University Announces Six New Courses for 2017
In "PS 102 - The New Racism" we'll show you how to dismiss any challenge to your racist views—no matter how valid—as liberal "political correctness" run amok.
The Only Thing We Have to Fear is Fear Itself—And Everything Else
What would be the countless ripples born by an administration that insists that the only thing to fear is not fear itself, but the consequences of hope?
The First 100 Days of Trump
Day 33: Trump announces the appointment of his boyhood idol as Treasury Secretary. Scrooge McDuck is approved by a Republican congress the next day.