Go Ahead, Kill These People
You can't just go killing everyone willy-nilly, but there are certain people who should, no matter what, cease to exist. Here is your guide to your next killing spree.
Tag: Primal Urges
Close That Container and Pull Up Your Pants
The people who passed these laws think they're doing good. They're the same people who tell you what to eat and not to smoke and that they know how you should live your life.
Thanks to the Boomers
Thanks Boomers, for making me the man I am today. Really and truly: I could not have done it without you. As much as you might have hated me along the way.
Triumph of the Millienials
Millenials: Never forget that you are the hardest working, most cooperative, and like-minded generation since the generation that fought and won World War II. That is your strength.
Lying Sack of Pimp
Ben Bernanke lied about gold, American debt, and Taylor's Rule. Nobody who taught economics at an Ivy League school (as Pimp Daddy did) can be that dumb, so he must be a liar.
Congratulations, You’re Not Responsible for Your Mortgage!
Most humans shouldn't have to pay their mortgages because most banks used an illegal mortgage process. But don't worry, your government will screw you and side with your banks.
Journalism is All Warshed Up
Recently, Federal Reserve Governor Kevin Warsh resigned. Why? Bullshit, that’s why. Journalist Annalyn Censky works for CNN Money, which is to say that she lies for a living. Her words are bolded. Mine are not.
You’re Welcome, Egypt
The United States has created an autocratic world regime which spreads democracy wherever it goes by making it impossible for people to eat. Enjoy your riots, Egypt!
Grizzly Murder: Sarah Palin Killed My Dog
Sarah Palin murdered a 9-year-old girl in Arizona the other day. It'’s true. I read it on CNN. Her death is a tragedy and Grizzly Mama is very clearly evil.
Systemic Pile of Risk
In 2011, Fannie and Freddie won’t have to worry about a thing, because the US Government now has an agency dedicated to eliminating systemic risk. This should go terribly.
Christmas Awesome List
I love Christmas, and not just because it falls on my birthday. Here are ten Christmas experiences from most awesome to least awesome.
WikiDick and the Trouble with Old Media Journalists
Richard Cohen is an old asshole, a representative of old media and the reason my blood pressure spiked this morning. His words are in bold. Mine are pissed off.