Making Sense of Fucking Stupid Sluts
The standards set by the penis have nothing to do with the standards set by the brain. Which is why plenty of us end up fucking stupid sluts weekend after weekend.
Tag: Primal Urges
Independence Day Activities for Dat Ass
A 4th of July checklist for you, the average patriotic American asshole. You know, blow shit up, and paint stuff red white and blue.
George Carlin’s Lessons in Bullshit
Now that George Carlin is dead, we live in a world with one less truth teller, one less bullshit caller, and one less comedic genius.
Thanks Dad
If it weren't for our dads, we wouldn't know anything about baseball, academics, or stupid boring shit like the value of a dollar and how to maintain a car.
Introduction to Cunnilingus
Learn why you should always perform cunnilingus, as well as general application methods. (Hint: think clitoris.)
Your Obligatory “Rejected Column Ideas” Column
The never-anticipated, never longed for, and possibly never even necessary column ideas emerge from the back burner.
The Day I Burnt My House Down
Anyone will tell you that flames and plastic make fire. Unless you're a typical 7th grade male trying to burn your initials into your bed.
A Tale of the Ages
Your friends say you need to grow up. But when you've got willing college girls and alcohol at your fingertips, what's the hurry really?
Cheaters Never Win
What happens when you combine two Sheilas, two Jessicas, and a Jen in one night? No, not a mojito, a cold lonely walk home.
Don’t Think of Them as Lies (Just Protections from the Truth)
To a certain degree, the lies we tell are the basic foundations for our male/female relationships. Try to think of them as
Weekend at Curty’s
Nate and Mike in St. Augustine: the patron saint of alligator-watching, naked girls puking, and measuring asses via the plank system.
Ah, The Strip Clubs: Part 5 – The End-All Love Story
It takes something really special to make someone fall in love. For Nate, 'special' was a wild night away from the object of his affection.