Are You Assembling an IKEA Dining Room Set or Cooking a Thanksgiving Turkey for the First Time?
6. You cannot begin to fathom what you’re supposed to do with the assortment of random parts in the inner pouch.
Tag: Quizzes
Are You an Actor Starring in a Pickup Truck Commercial or a Suburbanite Driving a Truck in Real Life?
1. Did you shave today? A. No. I possess the miraculous ability to always maintain four-day stubble. B. Yes. It’s expected at the accounting firm.
Are You a Shopper at IKEA or a Character in a Wes Anderson Film?
- The staff is smarmy and vaguely European. - There’s a child smoking a cigarette.
Birth Control Brand or White Celebrity Baby Name?
Lyra? Aranelle? Zuma? Kyleena? Gio?
Pantone Color Shades or 52 Ways to Describe My Heat Intolerance?
Blast-Off Bronze? Boiling Point Berry? Brink Pink?
Is Your Life Dysfunctional or Quirky Enough to Write a Factually Disputed Memoir?
Did you grow up in a modest house, or the suburbs, or a brownstone, or a symbolically dilapidated mansion?
Who Said It? Kurt Cobain, Kurt Vonnegut, or Kurt, My Libertarian College Roommate
- “I feel stupid and contagious.” - "Masks are stupid it's not even that contagious."
Are You a Cat Person, a Dog Person, or a Wildebeest Person?
When it's time to go, what name are you calling to summon your little snugglebuddy home for the night? a. Felix? b. Rover? c. Straggles?
Dolly Parton Lyric or Things I’ve Said to My Anti-Vax Friends?
“Take it and you never will be sorry that you did.” “You would be surprised to find how good it really is.”
Did You Take Drugs from a Sketchy Dude in a Bathroom or Are You a New Parent?
When’s the last time you showered? A. Before you left for the club. B. It was a week ago and it was to cover the sound of your sobs.
Are You Getting LASIK Surgery or Starring in a Cheap Porn?
- You just met the person who will be intimately probing your body - Several people and bright lights surround you
Did You Stumble into an Alt-Right Rally or My Sock Drawer?
- By far the most popular style: crew cut. - You never imagined that one place could contain so many worn-out heels.