On the Dangers of Immortality
With the advent of thousands of miraculous new medicines, the danger of immortality is very real and growing faster than ever.
Tag: Regret
So You Pooped Your Pants: 7 Steps to Cleaning Up
Unfortunately for you, your underpants (if you're wearing them), and those around you (if there are people around), you just shat yourself. Don't worry, we've all been there before.
The Five Stages of the Female Clinger
'Clinger' is a term for a girl who simply refuses to give a man any free time to himself. Here are the 5 stages, each progressively more aggressive.
8 Things You Did as a Kid That You Wish You Could Do Now
<p><font size="3"><strong>1. Play Hide-and-Seek</strong></font></p> <p>This applies to "Ghosts in the Graveyard," four-square, and pretty much any other game you used to enjoy. If you're still engaging in these activities, odds are you're the only participant over the age of twelve, or you're drunk. </p>
Stop Being a Virgin
Don't be sucked in to a chastity cult that treasures their virginity. A virgin is a horrible, horrible thing to be. If you are a virgin, please stop being it.
The Five Stages of DUI Grief
Here are the five stages of grief, normally helpful when coping with the death of a loved one, applied to your dreaded DUI.
I Do Not Understand Regret
I will be the first to admit it: I get drunk or drugged out, and make bad decisions. The difference between is, I don’t experience regret like you.
The Walk of Shame
It's Sunday morning and you're still in last night's clothes, reeking of alcohol and sex outside an unfamiliar dorm. Put on your scarlet letter and begin the Walk of Shame.
How to Speed Your Way Out of a DUI
If you want people to forget you pissed yourself, then shit in your pants. If you want a cop to overlook driving under the influence, step on the gas.
Your Favorite Music Blows
Hey, do you have a favorite type of music? Awesome, here's why it sucks. Oh, it's indie? Please kill yourself before we have to.
Life is Harder for Men
men, women, life, work, female, orgasm, manipulate, dinner, money, children, mother, bond, father, cry, naked, sex, period, frail, rape, period
College Student Regrets Divulging Computer Password
College kids remember: trusting others with your alpha-numerics means putting your online life in jeopardy. Keep your password to yourself.