Instead of scrutinizing the position of my butt, I would suggest admiring the lack of buttress in the position of my savings account.
Obviously, not eating tacos isn’t an option, so here’s some helpful ways to hide your undignified devouring.
Our graphics seem a little dated, but deep down we’re the same mailing list you subscribed to all those years ago.
Undergo hypnosis therapy: you can’t lose time recalling an actor’s name if you never knew their name to begin with.
Pottery: This one is simple: the night your wife called things off, you drank an entire bottle of wine and "Ghost" randomly started playing on Tubi.
Is he “ugly-hot” or does his face bear the mark of an impish, Germanic evil?
Is it time to overthrow the self-doubt that has plagued your absurd, tender heart for all these months? Subtract eight points if your heart is neither tender nor absurd.
Brita Love™ can teach you lessons about the heart, but it cannot be that love for you. To think otherwise is a dangerous game.
Our panopticon toilet utilizes ruthless social engineering to give you the most intimate experience with your partner.
We’ve become one of those vanilla, mass-produced corporate couples we never wanted to be. Our relationship is nothing more than a light-hearted romp.
I called both my parents to tell them that I loved them, then I drove exactly 5 MPH above the speed limit to work.
He was broken up with once, so we can’t expect him to be anywhere on time, as planned, or wearing an outfit appropriate for the occasion.