He was broken up with once, so we can’t expect him to be anywhere on time, as planned, or wearing an outfit appropriate for the occasion.
Body Spray Bay / Strictly Cuddles Cliff / Not-So-Fast Fjord
It was a beautiful Tuesday as Cameron Walton & Elizabeth Bayers were happily divorced during a small but intimate ceremony at the Queens County Courthouse.
I really don’t want to be a burden, but would you mind coming to help me? Only if it’s on your way home from the office.
Since Pink Eye is usually thought of as a children’s illness, there is a level of grossness that comes with admitting you have it.
I’ve delayed trains for hours at a time just to let couples wet each other’s face holes before departure.
The Owner of My Once-Beloved Bodega: He’ll call her Boss in the same velvety tone that once stilled my heart.
For a small fee and a variable surcharge, I will shower your fragile ego with the praise it doesn’t, and will likely never, deserve.
It blows my mind that we used to be one country, isn’t that wild? But enough about me. Tell me what have you been up to?
I’m staring directly at my feelings until my feelings feel uncomfortable and move away. I’m fighting over the armrest with my feelings.
Milk is fucking expensive. Let the cows bring me both my free dairy and the ability to skip the long Sunday checkout lines at the local Target.
My profile specifically states I'm looking for "the Jim to my Pam," meanwhile you're still "figuring out your relationship type."