Relationships | Page 10 | Points in Case

Tag: Relationships

Or how about that day in April when I forget to wash the Cheetos bag? I fell into a fetal position, and I knew you were my soul mate.

The card was so lovely, but unfortunately, I can’t show you it because there was a fire at my desk.

You might guess that my embryonic study schedule has engendered absconsion from social connections, but let me disabuse you of this insipid notion.

Boys and girls can be friends. Girls and statues can be friends. Girls and statues can hold hands, if they want. Or kiss.

Forgot I ate three cans of soup (Tuscan white bean, if you were wondering) last night and also decided to get rid of my old tambourine collection.

We made eye contact right before the huge bag of kitty litter I was holding ripped open and got in my eyes.

I just sit in the kitchen cupboard waiting until the next time you show up unexpectedly after months of neglect with your puffy eyes and runny nose.

Seeing you both now, I think we will sue. Sorry—I think we will. SUE, and Noah, you are clearly blessed.

This guide is not for the kids whose parents are still friends and kiss on the cheek every time they see each other. Those kids can go to hell.

Count down from 10 to 9. "Please don’t be mad, I know you’re going to say, ‘I know how to count down to zero and explode,' and I know you do baby.

The keyless key fob is another amazing tool, even though I constantly have to search the house because my dumb husband lost it again.

The PhD student who worships Peter Travers and prefers Kurt Cobain’s technical prowess as a vocalist over Nirvana as a band.