Relationships | Page 10 | Points in Case

Tag: Relationships

Now, I know how you feel about your mother giving you tips, but honey: he has a lifetime salary and great health insurance.

Test the vitality of your brain’s grid-mapping cells by devising an elaborate escape route.

Sweetest Day is better and not until October 16th, so I'm actually way early in already talking about it.

I don’t even have the mental energy to try to win her back because your little stunt has put me in such an awful financial situation.

Or how about that day in April when I forget to wash the Cheetos bag? I fell into a fetal position, and I knew you were my soul mate.

The card was so lovely, but unfortunately, I can’t show you it because there was a fire at my desk.

You might guess that my embryonic study schedule has engendered absconsion from social connections, but let me disabuse you of this insipid notion.

Boys and girls can be friends. Girls and statues can be friends. Girls and statues can hold hands, if they want. Or kiss.

Forgot I ate three cans of soup (Tuscan white bean, if you were wondering) last night and also decided to get rid of my old tambourine collection.

We made eye contact right before the huge bag of kitty litter I was holding ripped open and got in my eyes.

I just sit in the kitchen cupboard waiting until the next time you show up unexpectedly after months of neglect with your puffy eyes and runny nose.

Seeing you both now, I think we will sue. Sorry—I think we will. SUE, and Noah, you are clearly blessed.