How I Mastered Self-Love by Starting a Secret Affair with Myself
In an instant a few things happened: we locked eyes and both looked away in embarrassment; and I realized it was me.
In an instant a few things happened: we locked eyes and both looked away in embarrassment; and I realized it was me.
And then it hit me: if Jessica is begging for my wisdom, there must be dozens of other hot girl writers who are crying out for my help, too.
We’ve worked everything out with our mediator, Coffee Table. You can sit with me, Loveseat, on weeknights and with Chaise for naps on weekends.
I know my family can be hard to deal with. I can't cook, don't understand how to clean, and refuse to take out the trash for religious reasons.
I don't think any of my boyfriends have had such a positive impact on my life. You know, cup of Joe sends me off to work every day.
Farvardin: One who protects the good and the pure / Wendy: Says "I love you" way too frivolously
"If your prognostication about a pending recession proves true, I have faith you’ll be among the few who can still afford bottle service."
First there was a cluck-cluck here, then a cluck-cluck there, but soon my nightmares were filled with the cooings and cawings of the foulest fowl.
Oh, you didn’t think I was a "real" doctor? Having your Ph.D. is nothing to scoff at. And I have two.
The Time-Out - Take a break from spanking your husband to go spank your children for not doing the dishes.
Nothing makes a man feel more like a god than putting together a woman’s misshapen pieces and presenting a beautiful picture to post on Instagram.
Phone ringer volume must be all the way down, so no one is distracted by a late call from Justin H. Each of us must be into our third Moscow Mule.