Trendy Uses for All Those First Date Red Flags You Ignored
Tapestry: That sure was a big red flag, folded up all nice, when he asked you to meet him in a sketchy part of town around 9pm for your first date.
Tag: Relationships
You’re Still My Life Partner, Just Not My Doomsday Prepping Partner
But never did I think while I was pouring over the medicinal properties of deer antler spray, that you were shirking your prepping commitment.
When the Facts Change, I’ll Tell You What I Don’t Do: Flip-Flop
My first word was "pasghetti." You can say "spaghetti" all you want, but fact is, I say pasghetti.
Awkward and Uncomfortable Interactions from the Bible
Adam explaining to Eve that he really enjoyed talking to the snake more than her and whether she likes it or not he’s going to Cabo with him.
Job Opening: British Crown Prince, Urgently Hiring
How did you hear about this opening? Indeed, LinkedIn, or National Inquirer?
Scooby Doo’s Best Man Speech at Shaggy’s Wedding
Raggy rand I go way, way back. Trust me, rin dog years it’s reven ronger. Reven times ronger. Reah.
6 Worst Places for Your Wife to Remind You She Is Leaving to Be in a Polyamorous Relationship with the Pep Boys
The process of picking one menu item reminded your wife of how she did not have to pick just one Pep Boy, since they are all polyamorous.
I Am a Character in a Dystopian Novel, and I Think Your World Kind of Sucks
To be fair, at least you know your “vote” counts as much as everyone else’s, whereas in our system---Wait, the electoral what?!
Do You Want to Marry Him or Do You Just Want His Mother to Ruin the Next 25 Years of Your Life?
You hope to start a family because... A) You want to have babies with him. B) You want to raise your children under her shadow government.
How a Work Trip to the Hallmark Christmas Universe Royally Fucked My Marriage
I apologize, she giggles and our shared weakness for Snickerdoodles suggests we will fall madly in love by Christmas. Her name is Lacey Sherbert.
Should I Dump Him or Stay Because He’s Such a Great Gift Giver?
Marcus makes you miserable playing ultimate frisbee inside and then using his Frisbee as a plate, but are you willing to give up the incredible gifts.
Why My Girlfriend Should Consider Buying Chocolate Advent Calendars Again
I promise no more pretending the calendar’s a ventriloquist dummy with Jersey accent when I have my fingers inside Santa’s slot.