Relationships | Page 2 | Points in Case

Tag: Relationships

Milk is fucking expensive. Let the cows bring me both my free dairy and the ability to skip the long Sunday checkout lines at the local Target.

My profile specifically states I'm looking for "the Jim to my Pam," meanwhile you're still "figuring out your relationship type."

You’ll want to remember this before you charge into your first big gun battle with Dmitri the Razor’s anonymous henchmen and make your pain theirs.

If your therapist asks you whether Jason is your father, calmly explain that he’s your college friend’s old roommate.

Later I realized the pins shouldn’t have had an extended death sequence where they struggle on the ground pleading for their life.

A bank teller overeager to waive overdraft fees on my debit card in an attempt to maintain our relationship.

Two friends book a cabin with two beds on Airbnb, but upon arriving they realize the second bed is actually a yoga mat with a blanket and pillow.

When I was four, I knew I was in my prime. Solidly potty trained, only three teeth missing, able to draw both unicorns and school buses.

A ménage à deux, so to speak. After all, the only thing better than sex with nobody is sex with somebody.

I'll never forget how safe you made me feel, the way you blocked the SGLT2 found in the proximal tubules of nephrotic components in my kidneys.

We found out that for a whole six months of junior year you got really, really into Doctor Who and Sherlock. Like, fanfiction level.

Feelings of guilt and shame will give you the boost you need to keep on crunching. Your core will thank you!