What do we mean when we say that we’ve “read a book?” Do we mean that we've purchased the book, never cracked it, and had forgotten it existed?
HELLOOOOO! Hope you brought the peanut butter, because that my friend was a mouthwatering jam!
"Is this because you just lost your job? We’ve been through this, you’re an excellent reporter and they had no right to fire you! You won a Pulitzer!"
He introduced you to his "new assistant" Linda, who will be asking you a few questions before he sees you. He's already trying to add another woman?
What can I say? Sometimes I feel like one of the fellows. After all, I’d rather have a turkey leg and mead than vegetables from the garden any day.
Colonel Mustard and Professor Plum: There never was a murder, these two just needed to get away from their bridge club to whisper sweet nothings.
Recently my partner, a 1991 Diesel, has started abruptly switching tracks during our intimate time. What do I do?
I was unable to tell if it was the machine or I who was screaming as I was jostled unpleasantly amid black smoke and splattering whale jelly.
The forces of nature want us to be together until we die or I get bored, and here "forces of nature" means things I deliberately orchestrated.
"They love dirt" At first, it was sweet. "They really care about the Earth," you thought. But now you can't tear them away from the stuff.
Is it really necessary to go through the garbage can? Yes, I see the notes you’ve found. They’re also from my mother.
You can’t even invite people over to your disgusting apartment? Jorge has a beautiful apartment and he doesn’t share it with four “artists.”