Letters Home From a World War One Fuck Boy
Apparently, we were supposed to defend against an incoming force. But what were we supposed to do, not go party? Saturdays are for the boys!
Tag: Relationships
This Year’s Best Picture Nominees Ranked by How Much My Son Resents My New Girlfriend
When my girlfriend tried to talk with my son, he kept referring to her as “replacement mommy” while jumping up and down pretending to be Peter Rabbit.
Nothing Gets Me Hotter Than Explaining the Academy Awards to You, Babe
You can bet that Alfonso Cuaron is winning Best Director for Roma. It’s as plain as the socks that are still on my feet, babe.
Teen Magazine Quizzes for Adults
Which teen heartthrob is the spitting image of someone you went to high school with but you can’t place? He definitely looks like someone… but who?
More Fun Facts About the Harry Potter Universe, From JK Rowling
All the bisexual students at Hogwarts were in their own separate, secret house called Smurgendurt. Their house colors were purple and invisible.
Rules for a Silicon Valley High School Dance in 2029
Students are not to ask the Steve Jobs hologram any questions pertaining to how much he actually did at Apple as opposed to the engineers.
7 Fun & Flirty Head Injuries to Find True Love
Dizzy from the amount of sudden cardio of hiking, wobble, and then get hit in the head with a drone, the impact sending you down a sharp embankment.
My Wife Has Put Her Foot Down: No More Sexting the Bride of Frankenstein
The Bride of Frankenstein and I actually had a lot in common. Like her, my fiercest critics have also called me an affront to God.
If You Can’t Beat Rainbow Road in Mario Kart, Don’t Bother Texting Me Back
And I don't want to keep harping on the past, but there were a few times when you couldn’t even finish the race. It's embarrassing.
I’m Seven Years Old and You, Kid’s Cuisine, Are My Girlfriend
My word. Two penguin stickers here on your side. One surfing. One playing in the sand on the beach. Tells quite a story doesn’t it?
My [24m] Girlfriend [24f] is Leaving Me for a Brooklyn Alternative Comic [40fuckingloser]
He just pretended to make a phone call where he was trying to return a Blockbuster VHS, for twenty minutes. My girlfriend was laughing so hard.
11 Questions You Should Never Ask on a First Date at a Haunted Murder Restaurant
If you're at a loss for words upon finding the body of your waiter, Miguel, hanging from a meat hook, try to avoid asking obvious questions.